How To: Bad Fanfiction: Worst TMNT Fanfic, Like, Ever!
by The Creepy-Psycho-Loner
Summary: [Step 0.5: Write a ridiculously long title.] Shredder is up to his usual schemes while the Turtles and their new friend, Bri, tries to stop him. Otherwise a normal life. The 'How To' guide for writing sucky fanfics.
1. Chapter 1

**? **by The Creepy-Psycho-Loner

**Disclaimer: **"Blah, blah science blah. Do it again!"

**AN: **I accept any ideas and my favorite things in the world are meaningful reviews. :) If anyone is interested, I am interested in Co-writing a fanfic. And finally, Bri is me, if I was in the TMNT 'verse. And yes, these will be very short chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Mary Lé Sue?**

**Step 1: ** Introducing Mary Sue/Marty Stu

*Make sure to introduce them as a normal person and them BAM! They are superior and have unexpected super powers!

/

"Dudes! Bros! I'm hungry!" Mikey groaned as he held his growling stomach. He laid upside down off the couch. His brothers, Leonardo, Raphael, and Donatello all sat next to him and agreed.

"How about I order us a pizza?" Leo suggested with a shrug.

The remaining brothers cheered and agreed.

"Wow! We never eat that!" Mikey yelled, sarcasm lining his voice.

Leo ignored him and dialed the pizza shop. It rung but the line was busy. He tried a few more times with no such luck.

"Guess we gotta order inside," he shrugged. Raph groaned.

"I hate ordering in the store. They always look at me the wrong way."

Donnie squinted his eyes. "Do you wear the disguise?" He asked.

Raph looked at him like he'd just told him the meaning of life. "Was I supposed to?"

Donnie wanted to lay in his room and never return. Sometimes his brothers were really, really... well, stupid.

"Oh well. Let's go. If I wait any longer, I might die from starvation," Mikey urged. As the turtles walked out, they grabbed the jackets and hats to hide their identity.

They ran across the rooftops, even though they had disguises and no one would recognize who they really were. They went inside the pizza shop and ordered two large pizzas.

"Stay away! I'm warning you!" They heard a high-pitched shout from the New York streets.

The four ran outside and saw a girl with short twists in her hair. Her skin was a chocolate-brown. She held up her blue purse to her face defensively. "I have you know, I watch American Ninja Warrior and I'm not afraid to copy what I saw!" She frowned when the people who tried to assault her, laughed.

They ran towards her but she ran away. She was much faster, simply because she was better.

"C'mon, we have to help!" Leo declared and the turtles left the store. They attacked the bad guys but soon, swarms of people littered the street. Some were recognized as the foot and others as the Purple Dragons. Even a few Kraang bots were scattered around.

"Oh, well, damn..." Raph sighed.

"HAHAHA! Turtles, there is no use escaping my trap. Surrender now, or perish like the pathetic pests you are!" The Shredder laughed like a sick lunatic from the roof he stood from.

"Don't worry turtles," the girl winked at their exasperated expression, "I have super strength so I will take care of this."

"What-"

After a very epic battle cry and 36 seconds, every single person and machine was on the ground dismantled or dazed.

"Curse your name, Hamato Yoshi for you are the one responsible for all my troubles," Shredder shouted to the sky. He then pointed at the five. "Do not think this is over! I will return and I will seek my revenge!" With the blink of an eye, he vanished.

The turtles took off their disguise. Leo stepped forward.

"Thank you. Uh, but how'd you know that we were turtles?"

"I also have super perception skills." She smiled at Leo. "My name is Bri. What is your names?... even though I have the power to read minds."

"My name is Leonardo. Or Leo."

"Sup. The name's Raph."

"Donatello... or Donnie."

"And the name is Mikey!"

"Nice to meet you! Have I also mentioned my superior skill at writing bad fanfiction?" She winked.

"What?"

"Oh nothing. Nothing at all~" She sang, and got their pizza as they made their way to the sewers.


	2. Chapter 2

**? **by The Creepy-Psycho-Loner

**Disclaimer: **"TMNT! What you get is what you see!"

**Chapter 2: **8 Months!

**AN: **Lol! You read my mind! :0 but Bri can read yours ;)

* * *

**Step 2**: Tragic Backstory

*Now that we have our character established, it's time to explain why they are the way they are. BUT, make it as dramatic and farfetched as logically possible... of course, this IS a "ninja turtles" fanFICTION so... go nuts!

/

"So Bri," Leo began after taking a bite out of his pizza, "What brings you here?"

"My ability to fly and teleport." She was a bit bewildered but used her mind reading powers and laughed at her rare show of idiocy. "Oh! It's a sad story."

"Aww," Raph sympathized. "You can trust us."

Bri looked skeptical but gave in. "Well, I was a girl of 8 months old. My parents were super ninja masters in all of ninjitsu's history. One day, when I was remodeling the bathroom, my parents were kidnapped. I have been alone since then."

Donnie nodded in sadly before abruptly frowning. "Wait. You said you were 8 mon-"

"It was such a terrible thing. After that, I spent most of my time as an international spy and by age 6, I owned my team."

"But how-"

"And when I was 13, I moved here, to New York where I am speaking with you two years later..."

"... you were 8 mo-"

"The end. But please, do not judge me by my past but by my present."

Donnie put his hands up in surrender before stalking out of the room. Leo placed a hand on her leg and looked her in the eye.

"I'm so sorry about that. But hey! You met us right?"

Bri smiled fondly. "Well duh!" She lightly punched his arm. "I CAN see into the future, ya'know?"

They all laughed. "Hey. But how'd get all of those awesome powers?" Mikey asked.

Bri finished off her piece of pizza. "Magic."

They laughed once more but stopped when they heard a muffled scream of anguish.

"... Donnie? Are you okay?" Leo rose from his seat but Donnie walked out his room.

Donnie smiled sweetly. "No. No, I am not."


	3. Chapter 3

? by The Creepy-Psycho-Loner

**Disclaimer: **"Yes, pizza sounds nice. With pepperoni... and KARMA!"

**AN:** I LOVE your reviews! XD

* * *

**Chapter 3:** Only met you last night but... I love you!

**Step 3: **Unprecedented Romance

*Great Job! Our Mary/Marty is now created, and it's time to start forming the romance. *creepy eyebrow movement*

/

Bri stretched and opened her eyes to see that she was still at the turtle's lair. She had fell asleep on the couch. Sitting up, she saw Mikey and Raph lying on the floor and in a bed of blankets and pillows. Her stomach rumbled so she fully stood. She heard a noise from the dojo and she headed that way. There, she saw Leo practicing whatever mutant turtles practiced ( Katas? Bri shrugged. She never heard her Parents say anything like that.).

"Hey Leo," she greeted. He immediately stopped and turned.

"Good morning," he greeted back as he walked towards her. He gave her weird bedroom eyes and she thought it was romantic, since she was madly in love with him. But she didn't know how to tell him. It made her a little sad.

"Did you sleep well?"

Bri shrugged and Leo's kind smile fell.

"What's up?"

Bri frowned. "Well... I like this guy..."

They walked out the dojo and into the kitchen, where Mikey was making breakfast, surprisingly. Leo urged her to continue.

"It's kinda bad... I know I shouldn't like him... but I do."

"Why is it so bad?"

Bri sighed. "Because," she pouted, "It would ruin our friendship."

"I doubt that. Just tell him..." he whispered the next part, "Yolo. Okay?"

Bri laughed. "Okay, okay... I am terribly in love with you," she whispered back.

Leo sat up straighter than usual. "Oh yeah?"

"Yep," She blushed. Leo had a smirk on his face.

"Well, I love you too," he responded quietly. "I knew, since last night- not even 24 hours ago, that we were meant for each other." Leo jumped on the chair he sat on dramatically. "I am in love you! I will marry you and you shall bear my children!" He exclaimed.

Bri jumped on the chair she had been sitting in, too. "I accept your wishes, my love! Now, let us embrace until we see the sun!"

They each flew into each other arms. After ten minutes they were forced let go when Donnie entered. He was very bright, therefore, he was the sun. Logically, of course.


	4. Chapter 4

?.? By me

**Disclaimer: **"It's a Kraang sweet sixteen birthday party, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?"

**AN: **How do you even try too hard to be funny? Other news, this story sucks... so I'm doing my job well?

**Step 4:** HAHA-Humor

*Now add some "I'm trying way too hard to be funny" humor and presto-digiorno, we're getting this partay started!

/

Breakfast sucked. Gosh, that's barely a word to describe it. It was atrocious. It was an abomination! It was the most disgusting thing that has ever slithered across Bri's taste buds. It was so bad that It made Next Mutation seem like a good idea. But enough of the displeasure of a meal that breakfast was, today Bri would be able to meet Master Splinter.

Leo excitedly told Bri of the amazing and wise Splinter. Bri had to admit that he sounded pretty awesome. Soon enough, the man of the hour made his appearance.

"Please excuse my punctuality. I had to make sure I was hip and fresh for my homies." He threw up a peace sign.

Bri raised a brow. "Uh, pleased to meet you, Master Splinter."

"Aye, whaddup?"

"Are you being racially stereotypical because of my ethnicity?"

"Do eagles ride owls to the moon?"

Bri was silent before she put up a hand. "Fo shizzle!"

Splinter returned the high five. "But I completely digress, I am aware that you can help us stop the Shredder?"

"Yes, I am master to every fighting technique. I also can teleport and exert a beam of energy to disintegrate enemies and objects."

"Great. A wise man once said, "If a lemon is found, do not step it. Instead, harness it for the nutrients it provides."

"That... actually made sense, Father."

"Shut up, favorite son."

Then the world exploded.

"Okay, whatever! Now let's go kick Shredder's ass...ets!" Raph exclaimed, cracking his knuckles.

And the turtles, plus one, went to go find Shredder.


End file.
